And that terrifies me.
It all started when I registered for the fall semester on Friday morning. I didn’t think much of it because there was no stress in planning my schedule, like there usually is.
Then I was at the G-Day game on Saturday. That felt like a fall football game. As I was sitting there I thought, “this is the beginning of my potential last football season as a student at Georgia.” *insert terrified face here*
That one hit hard.
Then yesterday I received a graduation party invitation.
Dawn of football season. Check.
Invites for people who are graduating. Check.
Yeah I think that more or less means that I’m senior.
But seriously when did that happen?
How can I feel like I’m a senior when I still have a test, two papers and two projects due on top of a final and a final presentation?
Oh, did I mention I started emailing schools about graduate programs? Of course out of the three that emailed me back, only one has a graduate assistantship. The other two are internships (probably ones that aren’t paid). Oh I’m so excited to start studying for the GRE.
Why am I planning the next two to three years of my life right now? Why is that even feasible?
A couple of weeks ago I was highly considering driving to Atlanta, bookings a one-way plane trip to somewhere tropical and selling coconuts on the beach. Still doesn’t seem like a terrible option.
Anyway, back to the real world.
I was talking to my friend yesterday and we decided, in college, you’re stuck in limbo. You’re either growing up too fast or not fast enough.
On one hand, you’re in the real world. You pay rent, you have responsibilities and sometimes you cook for yourself. But then, at the same time, your parents still have the final say. So you’re a pseudo-adult.
Then you graduate and BAM. The safety net is gone and you’re supposed to have every single little thing figured out because you have a piece of paper with some writing framed on your wall.
How does a piece of paper justify me having my life figured out when six months prior I had to go to some family event because my Mom told me to?
People say that high school years are awkward, but I think college years are much more awkward but in a different sense.
They’re awkward because you’re a “real person” but at the same time you’re not. You’re still a student. More often than not your parents are paying for your education, rent or both. But you’re responsible for taking care of your mental, physical and emotional health. You have to pay rent, you probably have a job and, of course, you have to do well in school.
So this time next year, as I prepare to receive a piece of paper with writing on it that signifies I have everything figured out, will I?
Well, hopefully I’ll have some of it figured out.
p.s. started this blog a year ago today! Woohoo!